We kinda worked our way through most of Portland’s sights already, all of them a success too except for the closed Art Museum, or at least all of the sights we were meaning to check out: we didn’t go to the International Rose Test Garden, even though people keep bringing it up, but honestly I’m not sure there’s that much to see there to warrant a trek up Washington Park just to get to it. It makes sense as a joint visit with the Japanese Garden, except of course the Japanese Garden is so beautiful that any visit to it ends too late to do anything else!
So our plan for today was to stroll through the different neighborhoods in Portland that are outside of downtown, to try to see what the vibes are in various districts. Our first stop was Nob Hill, or the Alphabet District, so called because the streets here are in alphabetical order. The main thoroughfare here is NW 23rd Avenue; we learned from our tour guide yesterday that the numbered avenues go in order of proximity to the river, so 23rd Avenue would be 23 streets away from the river.
My guidebook says some people call the 23d “Trendy-Third”, and I could immediately see why. The atmosphere on the street and inside the shops is decidedly more upmarket than even downtown, all independent boutiques with expensive Oregon-core, locally made clothes: think lots of flannel, cozy woolen sweaters with pale-hued patterns, and raincoats in olive green, navy blue or mustard. There was also the occasional thrift store with much cheaper prices, but I admit I’m not really into thrifting: I always get too overwhelmed with the millions of dull, oversized old clothes to be able to find the jewels that I know the aficionados are able to unearth.
The morning had started cold and cloudy, but soon began clearing into what would later become a sunny day. At 11:00 the stores were only then starting to open, so we killed time by having tea and a massive croissant at the only regular café we could find (other eateries were too specific for what we wanted, like a place with lots of cakes or one just for brunch).
What’s curious is that most shops and cafes here are built inside what were previously single family homes, with the storefront being what would be the living room window, which makes it feel oddly like you’re trespassing when you go inside to browse.
I checked out the menu at Salt & Straw, an ice cream chain famous for having lots of adventurous flavors, because I wanted to see if its reputation was earned and indeed, I saw flavors like Green Apple Wasabi Sorbet, Arbequina Olive Oil, Strawberry Honey Balsamic with Black Pepper, or Pear and Blue Cheese! I hold nothing but contempt for gimmicky ice cream flavors like chewing gum or candy or whatever, but while weird these sound like someone put actual thought into them so they may just work. If I were to order I would most likely go for the staples, though! Our guide did say, try before you order!
We walked up and down 23 Avenue much faster than we expected, so to make the most of our time we took the bus downtown to check out the Nike store. Nike is a local brand, and Oregon has no sales tax, so we thought maybe their stuff here would be cheaper than back home -but if anything it’s even more expensive! In fact, nothing is cheap here, so I don’t know where those savings from the sales tax are going…
We also checked out Portland Gear, another local apparel brand, and then since we were downtown we had lunch at Mother’s Bistro and Bar. It’s a great place for a casual lunch, with enormous sandwiches and several varieties of mac & cheese, as I knew from my previous visit… although my main motivation was to be able to say I had lunch at Mother’s with my mother!
After having my massive grilled chicken sandwich, we went over to Mississippi Avenue, another cozy shopping/eating neighborhood very close to our apartment. This one is tiny, just a few blocks, and much more down to earth than Nob Hill: the stores are more affordable, everyone seemed more laid back, and they even had this nice square with illuminated trees and tables.
There’s one charming shop in particular called GiftyKitty, pretty much the definition of Portland’s quirkiness: all painted in mauve, with a fake tree and cottage inside, all dedicated to cat memorabilia! Socks, enamel pins, coasters, jewelry, art, wind chimes, plushies… everything cat-shaped or with cats on it. It’s weird (keep Portland weird!) but I found it charming.
At the end of Mississippi Avenue we made a right and walked over to Williams Avenue, which looks like its little sister with its own restaurants and shops, although we only got to see the Wishing Tree. This local attraction is just someone’s front lawn, where they planted a tree that people now treat like one of those trees in Japanese temples where they write down their wishes and tie them around the tree’s branches. This, too, feels like something uniquely Portland!
With that and a stop at a convenience store that looked just like those liquor stores you see in movies to buy some supplies for our trip tomorrow, we made it back to our apartment to rest our feet before going out for the evening.
Our last plan for this leg of the trip was to go to Hawthorne Boulevard, to walk around a little bit before our stand-up show at the Helium Comedy Club at the western end.
As it happens, our trip down Hawthorne was quite short, because there wasn’t that much to see or do. It certainly looked like a lively avenue, wider and with bigger buildings than 23rd or Mississippi, but most of it is occupied by restaurants and bars, clearly gearing towards the crowds that would file in after work.
There were some really weird shops, but not in the fun weird category like the kitty gift shop, just boring weird. I did see the Bagdad Theater, which I think is a bit of a neighborhood institution from what I gather from my guidebooks.
So soon enough we got on another bus to take us down to the other end of Hawthorne, to the Helium Comedy Club, where I’d booked tickets to see Ron Funches, a comedian whom we know from the show Loot (he plays Maya Rudolph’s cousin). I learned that he grew up in Oregon and that his name is pronounced “fun chess” -and if you’re wondering how I was pronouncing his name before today, well, I tried not to!
Anyway, we showed up soon after the doors opened, got our tickets from the box office, and were ushered to our seats… in the very first row! Our tiny table was practically touching the stage! Take look at this picture I took from my seat, see how close we were sitting from the microphone: I could stand up and shake his hand!
Our hearts sank when we realized that we were sitting first row at a stand-up show -my first time at a live stand-up show after watching so many on YouTube- but to take the edge off this post I’ll tell you straight away that none of the comedians did crowd work and so nobody put us on the stop. I was anxious for a while there!
There were two opening acts before the headliner. The first one was a Portland-based comedian who kind of looked like John Mulaney; he was shockingly good, or maybe my expectations for opening acts are low, but he had us laughing from the beginning. I understood why on televised specials the audience laughs at every single joke: when you’re in it, the crowd’s energy carries you away, and also the lady next to me had a very infectious, very loud laugh! The second number was a very tightly wound dude who worked the entrance to the club, and for all the intensity and awkwardness he was struggling with, he was also pretty funny! There was a whole section where I thought he was hyperfixating on looking at me so I tried to be a supportive audience member!
Then came Ron Funches, and of course with him I already had his TV persona in mind. He looks smaller and younger than he does on the screen, weirdly, and even his voice sounds different. He has a low, and slow, speaking style that makes some jokes land all the better, and he does this thing where sometimes he just closes his eyes and giggles at his own joke. It’s kind of endearing. I had a lot of fun, it made me wish there was more stand-up that I could feasibly go to.
So that has been it for my second trip to Portland! While planning I worried that spending four full days here would be overkill, considering how many sights I got to visit with just two nights, but it’s turned out to be the perfect amount of time. We got to see a lot of different places without really having to rush anywhere, we had time to rest in our apartment every day, and we even had time to see some nature outside the city. Plus, I leave feeling like I have experienced the local character and known the people better. It’s true that the city seems more economically depressed than in 2018, which is sad, but it still feels culturally vibrant and I would continue to recommend it to anyone.
Tomorrow we travel to Seattle. I have the feeling that after spending this time in Portland it’s going to feel much bigger and more crowded. Let’s find out together!
This Is A Lake 