Boy I am exhausted. Anyway!!
Today was the day we had set aside for the Lago Maggiore Express, which is the name of a circuit around the lake. The concept is that you find your own way to the town of Domodossola, and there, for the price of €30 per person, you get a combined ticket to ride the Centovalli train across the mountains to the Swiss town of Locarno, visit there, and then take the ferry back across the lake to where you started. Ordinarily I would never want anything to do with this kind of tour that’s all journey and little to no destination (you know those people who dream of doing the Trans-Siberian or the Orient Express? No thank you, I’ll take a plane and wait for you at the other end), but the fact is that five days in we are in dire need of plans that involve sitting around and resting our poor legs.
So sure enough, we did our part: we got up bright and early and got to Stresa station a full thirty minutes in advance, two separate trains to Domodossola earlier than we needed to… to discover that all trains were 45 minutes late, meaning that we couldn’t make our connection to the 10:25 Centovalli. There was also no bus or alternative of any kind, no recourse other than to make our peace with the Italian railway system and just accept that our plans would have to shift accordingly. I guess if you came here looking for tales of punctuality you could always go read my entries for Japan instead.
So we waited those 45 minutes, finally got on the damn train which itself took 40 minutes, and finally got to Domodossola. Turns out the railway station is separate but adjacent to the Centovalli station, so we had to leave the building, turn a corner and go down a flight of stairs to find ourselves at the right place.
It was good news/bad news situation: obviously, we missed our train, but on the bright side, there was another train that we could take earlier than the 12:25 one that appeared online. The downside is that one was at 11:25, another full 45 minutes ahead, so again we had to sit down across the unfortunately named FART train and wait, with the difference this time that there was an infernal noise that sounded like an air raid siren except continuous. The fact that I made it without jumping onto the (empty, trafficless) tracks signifies that either my sanity is unassailable or that I already lost it long ago.
So ANYWAY anyway, when the train’s doors finally opened there was a gauntlet to get inside as we all scurried to find seats, because some seats are reserved and some are free, and unlike Japan they aren’t grouped together so you basically have to walk down the train and try to spot seats that don’t have a white sticker on them. We were lucky (well, you know, considering) and found seats, but some people had to stand for the upcoming 2h journey.
Once we got going, the scenic views from the train were okay at first but became repetitive quickly. Is it a sacrilege to say that I found the mountain views a bit… samey? Forested hillsides blend together quickly, and I imagined they would open up to amazing waterfalls or breathtaking valley views but they never did. That was a long two hours to be packed like sardines on a tiny train, is all I’m saying.
Happily we eventually made it out onto Locarno with about three hours to kill, except our first mission was to eat (we were famished) and all the places around looked touristy. We settled on a Japanese place that looked the most promising, I ordered chicken yakisoba and was served something closer to shrimp pad thai -they took so long to get us the food that I didn’t send it back. It wasn’t even that good, but of course it being Switzerland, if the food isn’t mouth-watering the prices are certainly eye-watering: that single plate of noodles set me back €25!
As for Locarno itself, we had a pleasant enough walk around Piazza Grande and up some cobblestoned streets, but to tell you the truth it’s not that different from the towns on the Italian side. There are definitely diminishing returns with these towns: first, they all start to look alike after you’ve seen three or four, and second, we started with the most remarkable ones so the remaining ones are less catchy.
We did have a great coffee and croissant at a nice cafe before heading back to the docks, so at least we departed on a good note. If we’d had more time, we would have made the cable car ride up to Santa Madonna del Sasso, or even taken a boat to neighboring Ascona, but this would have to do.
The ferry ride back from Locarno to Stresa was another two hours, but this one was much more pleasurable: I got to sit outside but in the shade, away from noisy Americans (I love y’all don’t yell at me but also just don’t yell), enjoying the gorgeous views from the center of the lake. The nice thing about taking this ride towards the end of our journey is that we sailed past most of the towns we’ve visited: it was nice to recognize the landmarks from a new perspective.
So that was it for the Lago Maggiore Express. I guess it’s just not for me! Even if you feel tempted and you’re confident you’d enjoy the train ride, I’d still warn you about the crowdedness and the annoyance of getting the timetables to match; maybe find a quicker way of getting to Locarno and then enjoy the boat ride back?
Tomorrow is our last full day here, so my mission now is to look back to see if there are any sights that we had to drop but would still like to get done -and also preplan our lunch spot because we’ve been let down by spontaneous choices three times in a row already and I can’t leave on that note!
This Is A Lake 